Rahul Gandhi driving, walking and swimming

Rahul Gandhi travelled in his SUV to meet the distressed farmers. But was not allowed to go any further.

So, Rahul Gandhi hopped on to a bike. He was asked for the driver’s licence. He didn’t have any. So was asked to get off the bike.

“But I am Rahul Gandhi,” he said. “Great grandson of Nehru, grandson of Indira, son of Rajiv and apple of Sonia’s eye.”

“The times they are a-changing. Gandhis are passe and Modi-Shah are in. If you aint saffron, please start walking,” said the cop.

Hence Rahul Gandhi strode ahead. After many miles, he encountered a river. But that didn’t budge the Gandhi scion who removed his shoes and kurta to dive into the deep waters.

The river too proved hostile with crocodiles and sharks intending to eat the prince alive. Only in their dreams. Rahul ripped the reptile’s jaws apart. And the scared sharks withdrew without any fight.

Many adventures later, a drenched Rahul Gandhi finally reached a farmland on a camel’s back.

“I am here for you,” he told the farmers there. “Tell me what drives you anxious. I have read the Upanishads and the Gita. I will solve your grievances.”

“That’s wonderful, Rahul ji,” said the farmers. “But we’re afraid you have reached the wrong hamlet. You left your destiny on the other side of the border where you shall find your true subjects.”

Neither in MP nor in Rajasthan, Rahul G as ever found himself in no man’s land.

Rahul Gandhi’s elevation as Congress President

It seems Congress wants to quicken its extinction by elevating Rahul Gandhi as its President.

The Gandhi scion will take charge, if he does, at a time when the Congress is facing its worst political drought, losing state after state and also its MPs to the BJP.

The first headache he will have is to defend brother-in-law Robert Vadra who has struck yet another deal…err another controversy. The newly crowned prince will have to begin his tenure by defending Vadra. Sounds like an exciting start!

Rahul ji’s political achievements hitherto, according to the Congress, comprises everything under the sun – from painting the sky blue to turning the earth green. But realistically the only accomplishment that can be attributed to him is increasing the LPG cylinder cap from 9 to 12.

It’s wrong to write someone off. Remember Indira Gandhi? The goongi gudiya (dumb doll) who went one to become one of the greatest PMs of this country.

With Rahul Gandhi, you just don’t know who will end up looking dumb – people who write him off or its voters who are diminishing at a rate equal to “the escape velocity of Jupiter”?